Not talking to someone

I see a tall, fair, quiet young man almost everyday on my TV screen, mobile screen, laptop screen. He is all over my mind you see ๐Ÿ˜‰ . But I have never spoken to him nor even seen him outside those screens; there is geographical distance and social status difference in between. Still I like him. He is an actor by profession. Only 3 films old in Bollywood career. But I loved his work, especially in his latest film. I never spoke to him. He doesn’t even know I exist. Still whenever Iย see his films, I seem to connect with him, I dunno why. I feel what he “pretends” to feel, ย I seem to find a truth in what he is “made” to say. I tend to believe that he is what he portrays in his films; serious, intense, can do anything for love. But I don’t even know the real him. He too doesn’t know there is a girl called Priya who likes him so much that she has dedicated a blog post to him, proclaiming her liking towards him to the world. You might think I am mad, but I have no problem, cause I believe everyone in this world have some sort of madness or the other, and hero-worshiping has been a common trait among we Indians.

Whenever I see any of his film, I always wished I was working in Bollywood, so that I could get to work with him, or just interact with him, somehow I could be a part of his life. I know I am talking nonsense, but that’s what I feel !!!!! I just can’t help. He has become one of the reasons for my sometimes thinking of diverting my ambition towards acting.

I have even started daydreaming. Whenever I read a romantic novel, I start seeing the scenes floating in front of my eyes and I imagine the female protagonist to be me and the male protagonist to be him (How silly of me โ˜บ). Even I sometimes think I have gone mad, I am dreaming of something which is practically impossible. But I am a teenager after all, so……….. It happens ๐Ÿ˜‰

But don’t you think its striking ? Connecting to someone whom you haven’t spoken to ? Its actually weird. Very weird. Do I need a psychiatrist ? Maybe I am suffering from some mental imbalance. Otherwise why would I behave like this ? See ? I am contradicting myself. At one instant I have no problem that I bear such an attraction and on the other hand I am saying its weird and that I have gone mad. I have seriously no idea what’s wrong with me. This dilemma has been there in me for quite a few days. Now I am venting it out in public, knowing quite well that I might be made fun of. But right now I am trying to ignore this situation.

This is a little confession of a fanatic to her favourite actor Sidharth Malhotra.

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