I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve lost all control on my temper, I feel dejected, my self esteem is running in negative. I feel lonely all the time. Nothing cheers me up for long. I’m irritated almost all the time, I burst out for no reason, any time, at anyone near me. There’s too much negativity around me. Too much psychological pressure on me. Can’t take it anymore. I hate waking up in the morning. I’m fed up of everything. Worst part, I don’t know what I actually want from life.
This is spoiling my relationship with friends and my parents. There’s no one who can understand me. I thought my parents would, but even they refuse to understand, they feel I’m doing this just to torture them.
Sometimes older siblings become your saviour but I don’t even have one (neither a younger).
I don’t want to torture anyone, I myself feel tortured. I feel like running away to some far away place or simply kill myself.
But I don’t have the guts to hurt myself. I don’t know what to do, crying also isn’t helping much, so I’m writing it down here.
I can’t take this pressure anymore. I want peace. I want to live the life of a normal 21 year old college girl. I want to live a burden free. I want to be happy. But not even God is listening to me